This bus is on diversion.

Please wait for further announcement. (Goodbye London ! For now !)

(I’ve nicked this idea - like the London as a romantic partner idea I think it was from this HuffPost article, I hope you take it as a compliment. I just felt rather called to do my own spin on it and a good friend reminded me the other day that ideas don’t always need to be original , plz don’t sue me)

Dear London,

I know that you were completely slammed with work and then you had a birthday party to go to and a hot yoga class this morning (bank holiday goals!!) so I thought it was better I wrote this all in a letter. I didn’t want to have the conversation when you felt rushed/hungover/stressed/anxious/possibly still high. And I didn’t want you to feel as if I was dumping on you. This way I can be really clear about my thoughts and intentions, and you can read it in your own time.

Before you jump to conclusions (as I know it’s been pretty obvious things aren’t working at the moment) this isn’t “I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN.” In fact I’m gonna be hanging around for the next month and I want to make it clear I still have deep feelings for you, I just – I’ve changed a lot and so have you, I don’t think we’re compatible any more. If we even were to begin with – I don’t know, maybe I’ve just been forcing things all these years. Seeing as you don’t always like to be the decision-maker, I guess it’s gotta be me to state the facts.

Where do I start? I mean, I guess we both knew when I went to the circus that was a way for me to see how I felt being away from you for so long. At first it felt good to have some space, I know it must have been hard for you as I was whinging a lot that winter – you were probably glad to see the back of me! Then there were times where of course I missed you that summer – your public transport, easily available speciality coffee, your theatre scene and our friends. Chiswick was fun of course, but as you know as a left leaning artistic gal – me and the West of you are never going to gel. I don’t know how you felt but I didn’t miss you too much until September. But then when I drove back to you on October 1st - well I think we both remember how we felt that night. I liked the way you made Big Ben extra impressive as I drove over Westminster Bridge- what did you do with that clock face btw?

It was a warm welcome and then you even gave me the gift of a new pretending job which felt like you were really looking out for me.

first Anne show at The Gunpowder Plot Immersive Experience (RIP)

But then January came. January’s really not your month is it? I don’t want to lecture you - because I know it’s not always your fault, and I can see you were really trying with the temperature this year, but maybe in the future you need to make sure you think about how you can make things better – not just for me and you, but for everyone. If I’m honest I feel like you are a bit selfish in January. Sorry I know that might be hard to take. But we need more jobs for freelancers, cheaper heating and, look, maybe think about some fun stuff you could do - bring back snow maybe? All of this - I mean - I don’t know what kind of headspace you were in at the time as we were both being pretty quiet, but you made me feel like I had something wrong with me.

Then in recent months - this is where my own foibles come in. It’s not me it’s you when it comes to my connection with nature. I’ve always loved your parks - remember when I lived in Ladywell - how many hours did I spend in Hilly Fields ?! It s a v e d me during lockdowns. And visiting C and M in Battersea - how lucky I have been . I’ve even done the odd mudlarking sesh in Greenwich which can feel “nature-y.”

a nice Camberwell park with an award winning bakery and delicious filter coffee. you can see how much of my happiness revolves around coffee.

But - I’m sorry – the parks - they just don’t do it for me anymore. I need fields, forests, footpaths to follow! Perhaps this was always going to be a problem. I am a true Midlanders. You remember when I recently did my ancestry swab hoping to find out if there was some exciting Italian or Spanish lineage to explain my olive skin and dark thick hair (not just on my head) and what did I get - “YOU ARE FROM THE WEST MIDLANDS” yes I knowwww. But anyway I guess it makes sense that’s where I am feeling drawn back to. Shakespeare and green rolling hills and flowery gardens and tractors. Yes some probable negative factors of lack of diversity, possible small mindedness and a bad bus system. But I don’t know London, I suppose I gotta give something else a go for a while.

You will always be a special place to me - and no doubt I will be with you a good chunk of the year. You’re entangled with my career, my friends, my family and all of my third places exist in you. I will never forget all the wonderful moments we have shared together – the nights of walking down Finchley High Street drunk and getting falafel wrap from the Turkish Shish, meeting some of my closest friends in the NT Espresso bar singing Beyonce at the top of our lungs whilst closing the machine, chilled Birthdays walking around Angel – having coffee and then a drink in The Shakespeare opposite Sadlers Wells, the landlord saying “you’re Al’s daughter en’t you, you’re the spit of your mum!” I do have belonging here.

last minute freebees to see things at the Sam Wanamaker - fun!

So London, thank you for all the excitement and lessons and actually, do you know what, thank you for all the struggles you have thrown at me for the last 11 years. But it’s time to slow it down for a while. It’s time not to drain all my small and precarious freelancer’s salary on rent and bills. It’s time to go and write in a small box room in a town called Stroud and knuckle down for (hopefully) a new adventure.

I don’t even think this will be hard for you to take – I know you’ve seen this coming and I’m not sure you even like me anymore. In some ways I feel like you’ve spat me out. But I’m choosing to see the best in you! Maybe you’ve known what’s right for me all along and you were just trying to make it super clear. This is not your home. I don’t know, we’ll see I suppose.

Maybe don’t call me for a while whilst I make some new roots. Then of course I want to stay in touch and catch up – who knows maybe – we’ll have the odd fling in years to come. I’m open to it. Winky face.

Well done for pulling out all the stops recently with the sunshine. Your blossoms this year I thought were particularly beautiful.

Your “quirky” thespian devotee of 10 + years,

Emma

p.s. If things look up and I do end becoming a successful writer/actor I would love to invest in a small flat in Brockley, if there is somewhere nice you could save for me around 2035, I would be so grateful. Nw if not. Cheers. X